When we first came to NA, some of us wanted everything, and right away. We wanted the serenity, the cars, the happy relationships, the friends, the closeness with our sponsor-all the things other people had gotten after months and years of working the steps and living life on life's terms.

We learned the hard way that serenity comes only from working the steps. A new car comes from showing up on the job every day and trying to "practice these principles in all our affairs," including our employment. Healthy relationships come as a result of lots of hard work and a new willingness to communicate. Friendship with our sponsor comes as a result of reaching out during the good times as well as the bad.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we have found the path to a better way of life. To reach our destination, however, we must do the footwork.

Many of us have ideas in our heads of what we think we should be. These ideas may come from our families, friends, society, our religious backgrounds, and countless other influences. It's a little uncomfortable when our images of who we think we are and who we think we should be don't match. Getting to a place of self-acceptance when these pictures don't align can be challenging.

The Serenity Prayer is a big help here. There are some things about ourselves we may never be able to change. If we're a lot shorter or taller than most of the people we know, wishing or praying to be an average height isn't likely to do much. By talking through our discomfort with our sponsor or others we trust, we can begin to make peace with our height.

Then, of course, there are the qualities we are okay with, but others around us aren't! "I had a sense of humor that usually involved making someone the butt of the joke," one member wrote. "I kept hurting people, but I thought that if they would just get thicker skin, things would be fine. My sponsor suggested that I find ways to joke without hurting people. I was mad at first, but I worked on my sense of humor, and people don't look at me like I'm such an ass all the time now."

Part of accepting our frailties and imperfections comes in finding the wisdom to know the difference between what we must accept and what we can change. "That's just who I am" is an excuse we no longer need for harmful behavior. Talking with other addicts and connecting with our Higher Power can help us continue to grow into the people we want to be.