Some of us attended meetings infrequently when we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, then wondered why we couldn't stay clean. What we soon learned was that if we wanted to stay clean, we had to make meeting attendance our priority.

So we began again. Following our sponsor's suggestion, we made a commitment to attend ninety meetings in ninety days. We identified ourselves as newcomers for our first thirty days so that others could get to know us. At our sponsor's direction, we stopped talking long enough to learn to listen. We soon began to look forward to meetings. And we began to stay clean.

Today, we attend meetings for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we go to meetings to share our experience, strength, and hope with newer members. Sometimes we go to see our friends. And sometimes we go just because we need a hug. Occasionally we leave a meeting and realize that we haven't really heard a word that's been said-but we still feel better. The atmosphere of love and joy that fills our meetings has kept us clean another day. No matter how hectic our schedule, we make meeting attendance our priority.

Before we found recovery, we served our own selfish desires almost exclusively. We used kindness and generosity as tools to manipulate, nothing more. The idea of serving others didn't even enter our thoughts when we were out there hustling. After we're clean for a bit, we learn to take actions that open us up to the concept of giving our time and serving the common good.

We start by acting our way into a different way of thinking. That means showing up for commitments despite the self-sabotage that happens between our ears. Regardless of how long or challenging our days may be, we get to our home group to make coffee if that's our commitment. We show up because it is the right thing to do, in spite of any momentary lack of willingness. In reflection, we practiced goodwill and served the common good of the meeting by following through.

As we continue taking action—often opposite our thoughts—we become a little gentler with ourselves and more accepting of our own humanity. We come to understand that our first impulse might lead us astray. We learn to take a breath and call on a Higher Power to support our practice of goodwill.

Open-mindedness helps us access this spirit of generosity and selflessness. We may not talk about goodwill a lot, but you can see it in our actions and those of our fellows. Others depend on us, so we respond by being dependable. The "we" of NA becomes more important than the "me" in our old way of thinking and behaving.