Many of us come from severely damaged families. At times, the insanity that reigns among our relatives feels overwhelming. Sometimes we feel like packing our bags and moving far, far away.

We pray that our family members will join us in recovery but, to our great sadness, this does not always happen. Sometimes, despite our best efforts to carry the message, we find that we cannot help those we hold most dear. Our group experience has taught us that, frequently, we are too close to our relatives to help them. We learn it is better to leave them in our Higher Power's care.

We have found that when we stop trying to settle the problems of family members, we give them the room they need to work things out in their own lives. By reminding them that we are not able to solve their problems for them, we give ourselves the freedom to live our own lives. We have faith that God will help our relatives. Often, the best thing we can give our loved ones is the example of our own ongoing recovery. For the sake of our family's sanity and our own, we must let our relatives find their own ways to recover.

Most of us were pretty far from unconditional with our efforts to love when we first got here. One member shared, "When I first started using, drugs helped me connect with people. I would get high with anyone! I started cutting out people who got in the way of my disease, and soon I was all alone."

The members who welcome us to NA know the look of loss and alienation on our faces; they endured the same feelings we did. We empathize. For many of us, that's our first practice of unconditional love: We know each other's pain, so we offer relief no matter what differences we might have, real or perceived. Different political stance? Different football team? Different definitions of "football"? We look past these differences to see the addict, and we do our best to offer hope. The hope we offer is a form of love. In Narcotics Anonymous, we offer this love unconditionally to addicts seeking recovery.

As Step Twelve in the Basic Text mentions, "Many of us believe that a spiritual awakening is meaningless unless accompanied by an increase in peace of mind and a concern for others." The empathy we feel for other addicts is the first taste of "a concern for others" many of us get. Working Steps expands the reach of our compassion, continually allowing us to clear out the conditions we put on our willingness to love as we're ready to do so. We aspire to love unconditionally and, even when we fall short, the practice does us good.